The Universal Call to Accept

In functional medicine, we often talk about the variables we can control: what we eat, how we move, and when we sleep. But the human experience, particularly the woman’s experience, is one long, beautiful study in what we cannot control—namely, the inevitability of change.

From the moment our hormones first surge in adolescence to the quiet resilience of our post-menopause years, our bodies and our lives are continuously shifting. Acceptance is the deep, quiet work of greeting each of these inevitable shifts—the losses, the gains, the turbulence, and the calm—with clarity and compassion.

This foundation is the root of wholeness. It is the practice of granting grace to the woman you are right now, so that you can move forward with health and wisdom.

Acceptance Across the Stages of a Woman's Life

Acceptance is not a one-time event; it’s a muscle we build, adapting to the unique challenges of each life stage.

Life Stage: The Core Challenge of Acceptance

Childhood & Pre-Puberty: Accepting the body as a source of safety and self-trust, not an object.
Adolescence / Puberty: Accepting rapid, often confusing, physical and emotional changes as normal.
Reproductive Years: Accepting life’s demands and the challenge of carving out time for self-care amid peak responsibilities.
Pregnancy & Postpartum: Accepting a radically transformed body, a new identity, and the intense disruption of rest and routine.
Perimenopause & Menopause: Accepting the new metabolic and energetic reality— "bouncing back" takes longer and may require more tending than it once did.
Post-Menopause: Accepting the inevitability of aging, focusing on mitigating involution and maximizing healthspan.

Guidance on Acceptance: Stage-by-Stage Reflections

Childhood & Pre-Puberty

Your body is doing its most important job right now: growing, learning, and getting ready for the exciting changes ahead. This time is like building the strongest house—and that house is you.

Your Body is Your Best Friend: Think of your body as your most amazing tool and your safe home. Acceptance right now means being a good friend to yourself.
Focus on Function, Not Looks: Focus on what your body can do—running fast, climbing high, giving great hugs, and learning new things. This focusing on function.

Action: When you choose clothes, ask: Are these comfortable? Can I move easily? Are they strong? This helps you respect your body's power.

Trust What You Eat: Eat food that comes from the Earth (like colorful veggies and fruits), so you giveyour body the best building materials. This teaches you to trust that your body will know exactly what to do with the big changes ahead.

Your Calm is Your Power: Did you know that when you feel calm and safe, it helps your body build stronger connections for the future? Hopefully, the adults in your life are working hard to make your home a calm, supportive place so your body can focus on being healthy and happy for a long, long time.

Adolescence / Puberty

Puberty is a chaotic, phenomenal time when you are supposed to grow, change, and find your edges. Your body is waking up, and your interests, boundaries, and friendships are all in flux. This is entirely normal, even if it feels unfamiliar.

Establishing Boundaries: When navigating boundaries with parents, try the phrase: “When you, I feel, because.” This identifies the triggering behavior, the emotion, and the why of the feeling, facilitating open communication rather than creating rupture.
Action for Teens: Find the people, resources, and solutions that support you being the best version of yourself. Sometimes you may want to be held, not helped.

Reproductive Years

Accepting yourself during the reproductive years can be challenging—navigating tremendous transitions like becoming a parent, adapting to a post-birth body, or choosing not to have children. We struggle to make and take time for self-care amidst peak career and caregiving demands.

The 5-Minute Grounding Practice: A powerful, 5-minute-per-day acceptance practice is to step outside in the morning sunshine and practice 4-7-8 breathing. Connecting with nature reminds us we are part of something bigger, and the morning light sets our circadian rhythm for the day, grounding us both physically and mentally.

Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a profound form of expansion that requires daily surrender. Hormones shift dramatically, and the nausea often limits what we can tolerate.

Nutritional Acceptance: Avoid excessive restriction. This is a time to eat what one can tolerate without worrying about eating perfectly. Remember: babies will take what they need from the mama, even when we don’t eat perfectly.
Breathwork as a Tool: Breathwork is a critical, free tool available to calm the mind and body during the physical and emotional expansion of pregnancy. It is profoundly impactful for managing the intensity and discomfort of labor.
The Initiation: Beyond physical discomfort, the deepest challenge is accepting the transition into motherhood—an initiation that transforms our bodies, relationships, work, and identity.
Grounding Reframe: If you are struggling to accept your body's changes, remember this single reframe: "I was born to birth."

Postpartum & New Motherhood

The postpartum period is one of extreme loss and gain. Low levels of estrogen and progesterone profoundly influence sleep, appetite, weight, mood, and energy—all while recovering from birth and integrating a tiny human into your life.

The Boundary of Rest: The single boundary a new mother must accept is the necessity of Rest. You must make rest a priority to stabilize your mood, energy, and milk production.
Accepting Reorientation: Transitioning into motherhood is a reorientation of identity—many aspects of the self will never be the same. The challenge is accepting the changes (stretch marks, a different feeling vagina) and committing to going forward rather than longing to go back.
Community is Medicine: A simple functional medicine intervention to support mood is to find community. Spending time with new mothers who share similar challenges is powerful medicine.
Nervous System Support: The most crucial element to support the nervous system as it tries to accept chronic sleep deprivation is rest itself. It doesn’t have to be sleep, per se; sitting down, putting your feet up, or being quiet while going through the mail—it all counts.

Perimenopause & Menopause

Accepting aging can feel challenging, physically and emotionally. The turbulence of shifting hormones can contribute to profound grief over the end of the reproductive years.

Moving Forward with Grace: You cannot go backward, but you can move forward with grace and wisdom. Feel the grief, but remember that midlife is a labor of birthing our authentic selves in an unprecedented, exquisite way.
Midlife Call: Midlife calls you to mop up years of self-neglect and move forward with the foundations firmly in place, accepting that you will never outpace life.

Post-Menopause

The post-menopause years demand a deep acceptance of the inevitable. Tending to the foundations mitigates aging, but the most significant source of wellness here is grace in allowing all of it—the body changes, the solitude, the passing of loved ones—to be precisely what it is.

Mindset is Key: The key factor separating women who are joyous from those who are bitter is a blend of gratitude and self-compassion. Gratitude connects us with the small, positive things, and self-compassion allows us to bestow gentleness upon ourselves, helping us accept the inevitabilities of aging.
Core Truth: We are working to be as well as we can, for as long as we can.

💡 Practical Guidance & Reflection Invitation

Practice 1: The Three-Breath Reframe

When you feel the friction of non-acceptance (frustration, judgment, comparison), pause.

Name It: “I am struggling to accept this change in my body/schedule/life.”
Feel It: Place a hand on your heart and breathe, allowing the feeling to exist without immediately trying to fix it.
Reframe It: Repeat the mantra: “I have enough, I do enough, and I am enough.” (A practice for any age, especially the demanding reproductive years).

Practice 2: Befriending the Sensation (The "Hello" Practice)

Introduced by poet Rosemerry Trommer, this practice invites gentle connection with yourself.

When a difficult feeling or sensation shows up—be it anxiety, grief, sadness, or physical discomfort—greet it gently.

The Practice: Simply say to yourself, “Hello, [name the feeling or sensation].”
The Power: This simple greeting allows you to name the feeling, acknowledge its presence, and possibly even begin to befriend it, moving you out of struggle and into compassionate awareness.

Practice 3: Inquiry for When You Feel Stuck

If you feel like you should be anywhere other than where you are, remember the liberating wisdom introduced by author Francis Weller during a podcast conversation he had with Anderson Cooper where he said something along the lines of: "stuck is soul's way of saying dig here."

The Practice: Use journaling to gently challenge the idea that you are failing. If you feel "stuck," ask: “If this couldn't be any different right now, how might I use this moment?”
The Reframe: Remember the ultimate truth, that I am paraphrasing from Rosemerry’s teacher: "If it could be any different, it would." Accepting this fact frees up energy that was previously spent fighting what is.

Practice 4: Grounded Writing

Use journaling to connect with yourself and whatever is stirring inside.

The Practice: Start a writing prompt with “Today, grief is [fill in the blank].” or "Today, acceptance feels like [fill in the blank]." This allows for connection with the moment and moves abstract feelings into tangible insight.

Ultimately, the Foundation of Acceptance is the quiet engine of grace that powers all the other foundations. It means recognizing that every phase of a woman's life—from the chaotic expansion of puberty and pregnancy to the hormonal shifts of midlife and the quiet necessity of rest in post-menopause—is a perfect design for that moment. True health doesn't come from relentlessly fighting reality, but from learning the compassionate reframe: If it could be any different, it would. By choosing to greet our current circumstances with a simple "hello," we liberate the energy previously spent in struggle and empower the soul to "dig here," transforming the very place where we felt stuck into the richest soil for growth.

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As with all of my articles, blogs, social media posts, etc, this article is educational and not a substitute for medical care. Please check with your clinician before changing your routine.

Acceptance: The Place Where Your Real Choices Begin