Boundaries, Self-Worth, and Your Health: A Conversation with Healer Tara Greenway
If there’s one pattern I see over and over in clinic, it’s this: smart, capable women who’ve spent years taking care of everyone else—and their bodies are finally saying “enough.” We call it burnout, insomnia, anxiety, brain fog, hormone chaos, gut issues. But underneath, there’s often a simpler truth: weak boundaries and chronic self-sacrifice are stressing the nervous system and throwing physiology out of balance.
I recently sat down with Master Healer and Intuitive Coach Tara Greenway to talk about how this happens—and what to do about it. It was a rich, clarifying conversation that connects the emotional/spiritual work with the physical: stress hormones, cortisol, perimenopause/post-menopause shifts, and the very real symptoms so many of us carry.
👉 Watch the conversation: How to Stop Sacrificing Yourself and Start Setting Real Boundaries
Why boundaries show up in a medical visit
In functional medicine, I’m always mapping symptoms back to systems. When boundaries are porous, your body lives in threat mode more of the day—heart rate up, breath shallow, cortisol elevated. Over time this can disrupt:
Ovarian hormone balance (hot flashes, sleep disruption, cycle changes).
Glucose and insulin regulation (cravings, energy swings).
Gut function and inflammation (bloating, reflux, IBS flares).
Sleep architecture and recovery (you wake unrefreshed, even “doing everything right”).
Boundaries aren’t just interpersonal skills; they’re a physiologic intervention. When you hold a line, your nervous system receives a message of safety. Safety is chemistry.
The deeper root Tara named: self-worth
Tara offered a powerful reframe: many of us learned—quietly, culturally—that love is earned through self-sacrifice. We don’t say it out loud, but our bodies keep score. Here’s the twist that landed for both of us: when we rescue others (adult children, partners, coworkers), we may actually be communicating “I don’t trust you”—which breeds resentment on both sides. Boundaries, then, are not punishment; they are respect—for you and for them.
Three free tools for the moment your boundary is challenged
These are simple, somatic ways to down-shift physiology while you stand your ground:
4–7–8 Breathing
Inhale for 4, hold 7, exhale 8. Quietly repeat while the conversation continues. This signals safety to the nervous system and steadies your voice.Hand on Heart
A Kristin Neff–inspired gesture: palm to sternum. It’s a micro-boundary—“I’ve got you”—that brings you from reactive mind to embodied presence.Butterfly Hug
Arms crossed, fingertips on upper arms, alternate gentle taps. It’s regulating and helps you stay connected to yourself as you speak a clear “no.”
Boundary sentence starter: “I love you, and I’m not able to ______.”
Not angry. Not defensive. Clear, kind, repeatable.
A clinic story
A mid-40s woman came to me exhausted—poor sleep, hormone symptoms, using wine and cannabis to take the edge off, grieving multiple losses. She didn’t have a knowledge problem; she had a capacity problem. Telling her to “eat better and exercise” wasn’t medicine. Naming the pattern—chronic over-giving, no time to feel, no time to heal—was the first step. From there, we built two tracks: gentle physiology supports (protein, strength training twice weekly, nervous-system downshifts) and boundary practice (one non-negotiable hour each week for her body, scheduled like a real appointment). Change followed when self-worth grew enough to choose herself, consistently.
If this is you, start here
Pick one relationship where you habitually over-give.
Write a one-sentence policy (e.g., “I don’t lend money,” “I don’t work after 7 p.m.,” “Sundays are device-free”).
Tell the person in advance, once, calmly. Expect pushback. Reaffirm kindly.
Practice the 4–7–8 + hand-on-heart combo before and during the hard moments.
Track wins that no one else sees: you slept better, you didn’t spiral after saying no, you felt proud.
What I hope you’ll take away
Your symptoms aren’t moral failures; they’re signals.
Boundaries are pro-health chemistry—for hormones, gut, brain, and sleep.
Self-worth is learnable. Start by granting yourself the same compassion you offer everyone else.
If this conversation resonates, please watch the video above and share your questions in the comments. Tara and I are thinking the next place we should take this conversation is to follow up on cultivating self-worth—because when that shifts, the food, movement, and boundaries finally stick.
With care,
Carrie
P.S. You can connect with Tara here:
Website: https://beyondyourbelief.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tara_greenway/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TaraGreenwayBeyondYourBelief